If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
-Steven Wright
Thursday, July 02, 2009
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
singing old songs
Don't you love singing aloud when you feel like doing so?
lyrics
Oh, why you look so sad?
Tears are in your eyes
Come on and come to me now.
Don't be ashamed to cry,
let me see you through
Cause I've seen the dark side too.
When the night falls on you,
you don't know what to do,
Nothing you confess
could make me love you less
I'll stand by you, I'll stand by you,
won't let nobody hurt you,
I'll stand by you.
So, if you're mad get mad,
don't hold it all inside,
Come on and talk to me now.
And hey, what you got to hide?
I get angry too
But I'm a lot like you.
When you're standing at the crossroads,
don't know which path to choose,
Let me come along,
cause even if your wrong
I'll stand by you, I'll stand by you,
won't let nobody hurt you,
I'll stand by you.
Take me into your darkest hour,
and I'll never desert you.
I'll stand by you.
And when, when the night falls on you baby,
you're feeling all alone,
You won't be on your own,
I'll stand by you. I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you, won't let nobody hurt you.
I'll stand by you
Take me in into your darkest hour
and I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you.
Lyrics
It's amazing
How you can speak
Right to my heart
Without saying a word,
You can light up the dark
Try as I may
I could never explain
What I hear when
You don't say a thing
The smile on your face
Lets me know
That you need me
There's a truth
In your eyes
Saying you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says
You'll catch me
Whenever I fall
You say it best
When you say
Nothing at all
All day long
I can hear people
Talking out loud
But when you hold me near
You drown out the crowd
(The crowd)
Try as they may
They can never define
What's been said
Between your
Heart and mine
You say it best
When you say
Nothing at all
You say it best
When you say
Nothing at all
The smile on your face
The truth in your eyes
The touch of your hand
Let's me know
That you need me
You say it best
When you say
Nothing at all
You say it best
When you say
Nothing at all
The smile on your face
The truth in your eyes
The touch of your hand
Let's me know
That you need me
You say it best
When you say
Nothing at all
You say it best
When you say
Nothing at all
lyrics
Oh, why you look so sad?
Tears are in your eyes
Come on and come to me now.
Don't be ashamed to cry,
let me see you through
Cause I've seen the dark side too.
When the night falls on you,
you don't know what to do,
Nothing you confess
could make me love you less
I'll stand by you, I'll stand by you,
won't let nobody hurt you,
I'll stand by you.
So, if you're mad get mad,
don't hold it all inside,
Come on and talk to me now.
And hey, what you got to hide?
I get angry too
But I'm a lot like you.
When you're standing at the crossroads,
don't know which path to choose,
Let me come along,
cause even if your wrong
I'll stand by you, I'll stand by you,
won't let nobody hurt you,
I'll stand by you.
Take me into your darkest hour,
and I'll never desert you.
I'll stand by you.
And when, when the night falls on you baby,
you're feeling all alone,
You won't be on your own,
I'll stand by you. I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you, won't let nobody hurt you.
I'll stand by you
Take me in into your darkest hour
and I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you.
Lyrics
It's amazing
How you can speak
Right to my heart
Without saying a word,
You can light up the dark
Try as I may
I could never explain
What I hear when
You don't say a thing
The smile on your face
Lets me know
That you need me
There's a truth
In your eyes
Saying you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says
You'll catch me
Whenever I fall
You say it best
When you say
Nothing at all
All day long
I can hear people
Talking out loud
But when you hold me near
You drown out the crowd
(The crowd)
Try as they may
They can never define
What's been said
Between your
Heart and mine
You say it best
When you say
Nothing at all
You say it best
When you say
Nothing at all
The smile on your face
The truth in your eyes
The touch of your hand
Let's me know
That you need me
You say it best
When you say
Nothing at all
You say it best
When you say
Nothing at all
The smile on your face
The truth in your eyes
The touch of your hand
Let's me know
That you need me
You say it best
When you say
Nothing at all
You say it best
When you say
Nothing at all
Friday, June 19, 2009
quote
A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts
feel so good. -Steven Wright
have you ever felt that way?
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
rush
Existen aquellos que se apuran para no llegar tarde al trabajo, por temor al jefe, a que las reuniones importantes empiecen sin ellos, porque no les gustan las bromas de los compañeros de trabajo. Existen otros que se apuran a llegar a horario a todos sus compromisos.: reuniones con amigos, familiares, fiestas varias. También hay otro grupo que le tiene fobia a los cinco minutos de atraso de sus comensales porque se les pasa lo que sea que estén cocinando.
Y existen otros como yo, que se apuran a prender la televisión para mirar la serie de turno. Eso sí, que no suene el teléfono porque mi interés en la serie es inversamente proporcional a mi interés por los llamados. Podría decirse que si el mundo se cae en esos cuarenta y cinco minutos, no podría importarme menos.
Y existen otros como yo, que se apuran a prender la televisión para mirar la serie de turno. Eso sí, que no suene el teléfono porque mi interés en la serie es inversamente proporcional a mi interés por los llamados. Podría decirse que si el mundo se cae en esos cuarenta y cinco minutos, no podría importarme menos.
Saturday, June 06, 2009
Friday, June 05, 2009
relatos extraños
De vez en cuando pero solo muy pero muy muy muy de vez cuando le gano a todos mis conocidos con relatos raros (y creo que los lectores estarán de acuerdo):
Hace un año exactamente se me cayeron las llaves por el hueco del ascensor. Sí, cayeron muchos pisos. Sí, había cerrado con llave. No, no pude entrar rápidamente. Sí, el portero del edificio me hizo chistes sobre el tema varios días seguidos. Sí, tuvo que venir a mi rescate. Sí, estaba con mi perra. No, no estaba distraída. No, no estaba sola en el ascensor cuando me sucedió. Sí, bajaba apurada al paseo. No, yo no iba a pasear.
Lo único memorable de la anécdota es que las llaves aparecieron tan rápido como las había perdido. Una vuelta manzana y quince más tarde (para eso, ya había llamado a todos los integrantes de mi familia, en el caso de que ya no funcionaran las mías, cinco minutos más tarde y varios pisos de golpes graves después).
Y sí, sigo teniendo las mismas. Hasta el mismo llavero.
En mi defensa (solo para ustedes): alguien me empujó y podría decirse que no fue mi vecina que estaba pasando la aspiradora por el piso del ascensor. Y sí, tenía correa. Aún así, todos los días le sonrío. No, no conozco a nadie que le haya pasado algo similar, ¿ustedes sí?
Hace un año exactamente se me cayeron las llaves por el hueco del ascensor. Sí, cayeron muchos pisos. Sí, había cerrado con llave. No, no pude entrar rápidamente. Sí, el portero del edificio me hizo chistes sobre el tema varios días seguidos. Sí, tuvo que venir a mi rescate. Sí, estaba con mi perra. No, no estaba distraída. No, no estaba sola en el ascensor cuando me sucedió. Sí, bajaba apurada al paseo. No, yo no iba a pasear.
Lo único memorable de la anécdota es que las llaves aparecieron tan rápido como las había perdido. Una vuelta manzana y quince más tarde (para eso, ya había llamado a todos los integrantes de mi familia, en el caso de que ya no funcionaran las mías, cinco minutos más tarde y varios pisos de golpes graves después).
Y sí, sigo teniendo las mismas. Hasta el mismo llavero.
En mi defensa (solo para ustedes): alguien me empujó y podría decirse que no fue mi vecina que estaba pasando la aspiradora por el piso del ascensor. Y sí, tenía correa. Aún así, todos los días le sonrío. No, no conozco a nadie que le haya pasado algo similar, ¿ustedes sí?
Monday, June 01, 2009
where?
I cannot find the cord of my cam, my earphones, one of the books I need. Also, one set of papers is deseperately needed.
Good to know that I still have the keys to my apt.
Good to know that I still have the keys to my apt.
Friday, May 08, 2009
strange hotel names
If I read about goblins one more time, I'll go crazy [believe me].
Why is it that hotels in small villages by the sea have names connected to magical elements???
Why is it that hotels in small villages by the sea have names connected to magical elements???
Monday, May 04, 2009
letter
Dear Sir or Madam
I would like to complain about the room rate you have just sent to me. I am shock to see that low season is no longer low as prices have extremely increased.
I will not stay at your hotel and I really hope you survive the financial crisis. If you happen to see a guest at your facilities, let him/her know he/she has completely lost his/her mind.
Yours truly
Pequeña Orquídea
I would like to complain about the room rate you have just sent to me. I am shock to see that low season is no longer low as prices have extremely increased.
I will not stay at your hotel and I really hope you survive the financial crisis. If you happen to see a guest at your facilities, let him/her know he/she has completely lost his/her mind.
Yours truly
Pequeña Orquídea
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
something like that
algunas cosas que me pasan últimamente, pero que traigo de otro blog:
10 cosas que odio de los cumpleaños1. Saludar con un beso a las cincuenta personas que llegaron antes a la fiesta.
10 cosas que odio de los cumpleaños1. Saludar con un beso a las cincuenta personas que llegaron antes a la fiesta.
Si agarro al anormal que extendió a los desconocidos el ritual de saludar con un beso, le parto una columna de hormigón en el lomo. Estoy harta de entrar a una reunión y que cincuenta personas te miren la trompa para darme un beso. Es una locura. Ya la acción de saludar es bastante arcaica, para que encima la practiquemos con gente que jamás vimos en la vida. A nadie le interesa besar a sus compañeros de oficina o la suegra de un amigo. ¿Por qué no buscan novios o amigos por internet y se sacuden la necesidad de afecto de esa manera?
2. Cantar el feliz cumpleaños en bares o restaurantes
¡Levanten la mano el que quiera matar a los estúpidos que cantan el “Feliz cumpleaños” en cualquier lugar! ¡Yooooooooo! Estoy harta de estar tomando un café tranquila en un bar y de repente sentir un estruendo e barrabrava alcoholizado que golpea la mesa y grita incoherencias en la mesa de atrás. Tu amigo no es mi amigo, no tengo por qué padecer su cumpleaños.
3. Comer torta en servilleta
No sé cómo se les ocurre que servir torta encima de un pedazo de papel es un comportamiento aceptable para un ser humano, pero quiero aprovechar este espacio para decir que no. Piénsenlo bien. Ni siquiera se usan cubiertos. Uno agacha la cabeza a la servilleta y come directamente con la boca, como si fuese un perro. ¿Qué va a venir después? ¿Vamos a tomar vino de un abrevadero y a comer morcilla con la mano? ¿Nos van a tirar maíz en el piso para cenar? Festejar es un lujo, no una obligación. Si no querés hacer nada, no invites gente a tu casa. Yo tampoco quería ir a tu cumpleaños y ahí estoy, comiendo con las manos, como un animal de granja para que vos no tengas que lavar los platos.
4. Que cuando me regalen algo, me aclaren que es “una pavadita”.
¡Obvio que es una pavadita! El 90% de los regalos que recibimos son una basura infame que para lo único que sirve es para aburrirse, abollada, en el fondo del placard.
5. Que se crean esa estupidez de que el corazón es grande.
Si no tenés sillas, una cantidad adecuada de vasos, un sillón cómodo, gaseosas light, aspirinas, un baño en condiciones, un departamento en una zona segura y cercana, el número de teléfono de un radiotaxi, suficiente hielo, ventilación adecuada, no molestes a la gente con tu cumpleaños. Somos adultos y no, no nos arreglamos con cualquier cosa ni en cualquier lugarcito. La mayoría de nosotros trabajamos diez horas por día para después salir corriendo a tu fiestita macabra a descomponernos de calor y tomar gaseosa caliente. Metete tu corazón grande en el culo. No queremos volver a oír de vos hasta que no te compres un aire acondicionado.
6. Que siempre haya un imbécil con delirio de DJ
Estoy enferma de que en todas las reuniones haya un infradotado desesperado por armar una pista de baile en el living. Primero, la mayoría de la gente está convencida de que es Fred Astaire pero baila mal. Basta con mirar la pista en las fiestas de casamiento para probar lo que estoy diciendo. El que baila se divierte ¿Pero qué pasa con los que tenemos que mirar ese espectáculo lamentable?
7. Que se juntan varios grupos heterogéneos de gente.
El cumpleañero invita a sus compañeros de oficina, a su familia, a sus colegas de teatro, a los amigos de la primaria y a un taradito que conoce desde chico para festejar. Y para él está bien, porque los conoce a todos. ¿Pero qué tiene que ver su profesor de teatro con la secretaria de sesenta años que trabaja en su oficina? Estoy cansada de que me obliguen a hablar con suegras ajenas, primos pesados y compañeros de trabajo que no conozco ni me interesa conocer.
8. Que toda la gente que dejé de ver a propósito hace tiempo aproveche para emboscarme y proponer reunirse o almorzar.
Vamos a terminar con esta hipocresía hoy, aquí, y de una vez por todas. Si nos dejamos de ver hace cinco años y siempre que nos cruzamos me sugerís que almorcemos juntos pero nunca te llamo, es hora de que entiendas que no me interesa verte. No me interesa juntarme con los chicos del secundario. No me moviliza reunir a la gente de teatro. No quiero volver a jugar a armar el equipo de vóley. Sólo de charlar del viaje de egresados con nostalgia ya me deprimo. La gente que recuerda el secundario como su época de gloria es patética, no trates de contagiarme.
9. Las variaciones interminables de la canción de feliz cumpleaños
¿Es necesario que a esta altura, pleno siglo XXI, habiendo fabricado trenes supersónicos, tecnología bluetooth y bombas nucleares aún sigamos cantando “Amiguito que Dios te bendiga”?
10. Que al irse haya que decir “Gracias por todo”.
Gracias las pelotas. Yo ni siquiera quería venir.
I'm so tired of being politically correct...
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
chocolate farm
My family decided for once in years that it was a good idea not to buy Easter eggs.The picture was the result...
Monday, April 13, 2009
signs of [bad] luck
If two big [huge] pigeons believed that you were the chosen one for their p... in two months in a role, well, then the coin was tossed. Who was I to think differently?
All I needed was the sweet chinese dry-cleaner lady...
All I needed was the sweet chinese dry-cleaner lady...
Monday, April 06, 2009
piece of advice on nutrition
A standard day in my life is connected to language. I received the do's and dont's regarding nutrition from my local gym:
In Spanish
Baja el consumo de... (podría ser reduce el consumo de...)
¡Va del vos al tú en dos renglones! ejemplos: elegí... siguiente renglón: reemplaza...
El consejo que más me gustó fue:
Incorpora en tu dieta las especies y lo condimentos para cambiar los sabores...
¿necesitarán una correctora de estilo?
In Spanish
Baja el consumo de... (podría ser reduce el consumo de...)
¡Va del vos al tú en dos renglones! ejemplos: elegí... siguiente renglón: reemplaza...
El consejo que más me gustó fue:
Incorpora en tu dieta las especies y lo condimentos para cambiar los sabores...
¿necesitarán una correctora de estilo?
Monday, March 30, 2009
thoughts about He's just not that into you
Applying linguistics to my life has been a major topic (knowing the reason why somebody says something or why there's a wall of silence) these days, but it also contributed that I watched the film He's just not that into you. Then, I realized: I'm hopeless. There's nothing I can do to right something that went wrong so wrong...
The film makes you think about all the things that could have possibly gone in the wrong direction. And guess what, I have taken all the wrong turns...
Some funny quotes from the film:
Alex: You're my exception.
Gigi: A girl will never forget the first boy she ever likes.
Gigi: We are all programmed to believe that if a guy acts like a total jerk that means he likes you.
Beth: I just need you to stop being nice to me unless your gonna marry me.
Beth: Am I... will I be Al Pacino in this scenario?
Gigi: How stupid is it that a girl has to wait for a guy's call anyway, right?
Mary: I had this guy leave me a voicemail at work, so I called him at home, and then he emailed me to my BlackBerry, and so I texted to his cell, and now you just have to go around checking all these different portals just to get rejected by seven different technologies.
Mary: It's exhausting.
Gigi: Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up. If a guy punches you he likes you. Never try to trim your own bangs and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. Every movie we see, Every story we're told implores us to wait for it, the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. But sometimes we're so focused on finding our happy ending we don't learn how to read the signs. How to tell from the ones who want us and the ones who don't, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. And maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe... it's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is... just... moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment you never gave up hope.
Gigi: I would rather be like that, then be like you.
Alex: Excuse me? What's that supposed to mean?
Gigi: I may dissect each little thing and put myself out there so much but at least that means that I still care. Oh! You've think you won because women are expendable to you. You may not get hurt or make an ass of yourself that way but you don't fall in love that way either. You have not won. You're alone. I may do a lot of stupid shit but I'm still a lot closer to love than you are.
Anna: You have an ass that makes me wanna dry hump!
Ben: Did you just say 'Dry hump'?
Anna: Yep.
Ben: I think I just fell in love.
5 yr. old Girl: Why did you do that?
6 yr. old Boy: Because you smell like dog poo.
Ben: You may be the best friend I've ever had.
Alex: He is not interested.
Janine: He's totally gonna call.
Neil: I don't wanna be with anybody else, I just wanna be with Beth.
Mary: What if you meet the love of your life, are you supposed to let them pass you by?
Alex: I really gotta go to bed.
Gigi: Is that an invitation?
Alex: What?
Gigi: Oh god, That was cheesy.
Mother: Connie, do you know why that little boy did those things? Because he likes you.
Mary: He MySpaced me.
Nathan: Ouch!
Mary: Oh.
Joshua: Oh girl I don't know about that... My trampy little sister says MySpace is the new booty call.
Gigi: I think I've figured it out. Remember when I went out with that notary public and he cheated on me and then Anastasia from upstairs told me about how her boyfriend cheated on her in the beginning then he totally changed and now they're married and crazy in love?
Beth: I thought that guy was a process server.
Gigi: No notary. Anyway my point is, Anastasia is the exception, not the rule. We have to stop listening to these stories because they rule is most guys who cheat on you up front don't really care about you very much.
Janine: Ok.
Gigi: Ok, Ok. Exhibit A. Chad the drummer who lived in a storage space. He only used me for rides and yet I continued to stalk him for most of 1998. Then oh, um, there was Don, that broke up with me every Friday so that he could have his weekends free. I was delusional about that relationship. I used to refer to him as my husband to random people, like my dental hygienist. Anyway, all my friends used to tell me about how things might work out with these dipsticks because they knew someone, who knew someone, who dated a dipstick just like mine. That girl ended up getting married and living happily ever after. That the exception and we're not the exception we're the rule.
Alex: If a guy treats you like he doesn't give a sh*t, it's because he doesn't give a shit.
Gigi: Maybe his grandma died or maybe he lost my number or is out of town or got hit by a cab...
Alex: Or maybe he is not interested in seeing you again.
Gigi: Hey sorry to bug you again! Uh quick question.
Alex: What's going on?
Gigi: Ok I'm making out with this guy, PG stuff. but he mentions he's going out of town so he's gonna be out of touch.
Alex: Run.
Gigi: But maybe he is going out of town.
Alex: To where? New Guinea? Where's he gonna be that he's gonna be out of touch?
Gigi: Opens bathroom door - Where are you going out of town to again?
Gigi: Pittsburgh
Alex: Run.
Gigi: So what now I'm just supposed to turn from every guy who doesn't like me?
Alex: Uh. Yeah!
Gigi: There's not gonna be anybody left.
Alex: If a guy doesn't call you, he doesn't want to call you.
Gigi: Hey Conor, It's GiGi, I just thought that I hadn't heard from you, and I mean how stupid is it taht a girl has to wait for a guy's call anyway, right? Cause we're all equal right? more than equal. more women are accepted into law school now then men. Call me, oh this is GiGi, call me.
Gigi: Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up: if a boy punches you he likes you, never try to trim your own bangs, and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. every movie we see, every story we're told implores us to wait for it: the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. but sometimes we're so focused on finding our happy ending we don't learn how to read the signs. how to tell the ones who want us from the ones who don't, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. and maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe it's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. maybe the happy ending is just moving on. or maybe the happy ending is this: knowing after all the unreturned phone calls and broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment... you never gave up hope.
Alex: Hey, Kelli Ann. Uh, did I get any calls?
Kelli Ann: Since you asked me 11 mins ago, no, not a lot of phone traffic.
Alex: [obsessively checks phone for signal]
Kelli Ann: Oh, my God.
Alex: What?
Kelli Ann: What's her name?
Alex: Who?
Kelli Ann: The girl... Alex.
Alex: There's no girl.
Kelli Ann: You can't hide it, man. I know strung out, and YOU are strung out.
Alex: Please.
Kelli Ann: This is amazing. You can't focus. Right? Jumping every time your phone rings. Checking your e-mail a hundred times a day. Wishing you could write songs.
Alex: [laughs]
Kelli Ann: No. Feeling the need to bring up her name in random conversations. It's always the same and it has happened to you, my friend.
Alex: Shit.
Kelli Ann: Welcome to my world, asshole. Let me get the door.
African Woman #1: I'm sure he just forgot your hut number!
African Woman #2: Or was eaten by a lion.
African Woman #3: You guys are awesome!
The film makes you think about all the things that could have possibly gone in the wrong direction. And guess what, I have taken all the wrong turns...
Some funny quotes from the film:
Alex: You're my exception.
Gigi: A girl will never forget the first boy she ever likes.
Gigi: We are all programmed to believe that if a guy acts like a total jerk that means he likes you.
Beth: I just need you to stop being nice to me unless your gonna marry me.
Beth: Am I... will I be Al Pacino in this scenario?
Gigi: How stupid is it that a girl has to wait for a guy's call anyway, right?
Mary: I had this guy leave me a voicemail at work, so I called him at home, and then he emailed me to my BlackBerry, and so I texted to his cell, and now you just have to go around checking all these different portals just to get rejected by seven different technologies.
Mary: It's exhausting.
Gigi: Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up. If a guy punches you he likes you. Never try to trim your own bangs and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. Every movie we see, Every story we're told implores us to wait for it, the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. But sometimes we're so focused on finding our happy ending we don't learn how to read the signs. How to tell from the ones who want us and the ones who don't, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. And maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe... it's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is... just... moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment you never gave up hope.
Gigi: I would rather be like that, then be like you.
Alex: Excuse me? What's that supposed to mean?
Gigi: I may dissect each little thing and put myself out there so much but at least that means that I still care. Oh! You've think you won because women are expendable to you. You may not get hurt or make an ass of yourself that way but you don't fall in love that way either. You have not won. You're alone. I may do a lot of stupid shit but I'm still a lot closer to love than you are.
Anna: You have an ass that makes me wanna dry hump!
Ben: Did you just say 'Dry hump'?
Anna: Yep.
Ben: I think I just fell in love.
5 yr. old Girl: Why did you do that?
6 yr. old Boy: Because you smell like dog poo.
Ben: You may be the best friend I've ever had.
Alex: He is not interested.
Janine: He's totally gonna call.
Neil: I don't wanna be with anybody else, I just wanna be with Beth.
Mary: What if you meet the love of your life, are you supposed to let them pass you by?
Alex: I really gotta go to bed.
Gigi: Is that an invitation?
Alex: What?
Gigi: Oh god, That was cheesy.
Mother: Connie, do you know why that little boy did those things? Because he likes you.
Mary: He MySpaced me.
Nathan: Ouch!
Mary: Oh.
Joshua: Oh girl I don't know about that... My trampy little sister says MySpace is the new booty call.
Gigi: I think I've figured it out. Remember when I went out with that notary public and he cheated on me and then Anastasia from upstairs told me about how her boyfriend cheated on her in the beginning then he totally changed and now they're married and crazy in love?
Beth: I thought that guy was a process server.
Gigi: No notary. Anyway my point is, Anastasia is the exception, not the rule. We have to stop listening to these stories because they rule is most guys who cheat on you up front don't really care about you very much.
Janine: Ok.
Gigi: Ok, Ok. Exhibit A. Chad the drummer who lived in a storage space. He only used me for rides and yet I continued to stalk him for most of 1998. Then oh, um, there was Don, that broke up with me every Friday so that he could have his weekends free. I was delusional about that relationship. I used to refer to him as my husband to random people, like my dental hygienist. Anyway, all my friends used to tell me about how things might work out with these dipsticks because they knew someone, who knew someone, who dated a dipstick just like mine. That girl ended up getting married and living happily ever after. That the exception and we're not the exception we're the rule.
Alex: If a guy treats you like he doesn't give a sh*t, it's because he doesn't give a shit.
Gigi: Maybe his grandma died or maybe he lost my number or is out of town or got hit by a cab...
Alex: Or maybe he is not interested in seeing you again.
Gigi: Hey sorry to bug you again! Uh quick question.
Alex: What's going on?
Gigi: Ok I'm making out with this guy, PG stuff. but he mentions he's going out of town so he's gonna be out of touch.
Alex: Run.
Gigi: But maybe he is going out of town.
Alex: To where? New Guinea? Where's he gonna be that he's gonna be out of touch?
Gigi: Opens bathroom door - Where are you going out of town to again?
Gigi: Pittsburgh
Alex: Run.
Gigi: So what now I'm just supposed to turn from every guy who doesn't like me?
Alex: Uh. Yeah!
Gigi: There's not gonna be anybody left.
Alex: If a guy doesn't call you, he doesn't want to call you.
Gigi: Hey Conor, It's GiGi, I just thought that I hadn't heard from you, and I mean how stupid is it taht a girl has to wait for a guy's call anyway, right? Cause we're all equal right? more than equal. more women are accepted into law school now then men. Call me, oh this is GiGi, call me.
Gigi: Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up: if a boy punches you he likes you, never try to trim your own bangs, and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. every movie we see, every story we're told implores us to wait for it: the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. but sometimes we're so focused on finding our happy ending we don't learn how to read the signs. how to tell the ones who want us from the ones who don't, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. and maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe it's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. maybe the happy ending is just moving on. or maybe the happy ending is this: knowing after all the unreturned phone calls and broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment... you never gave up hope.
Alex: Hey, Kelli Ann. Uh, did I get any calls?
Kelli Ann: Since you asked me 11 mins ago, no, not a lot of phone traffic.
Alex: [obsessively checks phone for signal]
Kelli Ann: Oh, my God.
Alex: What?
Kelli Ann: What's her name?
Alex: Who?
Kelli Ann: The girl... Alex.
Alex: There's no girl.
Kelli Ann: You can't hide it, man. I know strung out, and YOU are strung out.
Alex: Please.
Kelli Ann: This is amazing. You can't focus. Right? Jumping every time your phone rings. Checking your e-mail a hundred times a day. Wishing you could write songs.
Alex: [laughs]
Kelli Ann: No. Feeling the need to bring up her name in random conversations. It's always the same and it has happened to you, my friend.
Alex: Shit.
Kelli Ann: Welcome to my world, asshole. Let me get the door.
African Woman #1: I'm sure he just forgot your hut number!
African Woman #2: Or was eaten by a lion.
African Woman #3: You guys are awesome!
what big teeth you've got!
I was surprised: Ice Age III in the cinemas in July!!! I know this sort of films are meant for children, but, hey, I don't care...
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
lending material
Si vas a fingir, mentime
http://elerlich.com/momentito/2008/08/si_vas_a_fingir_mentime.php#more
http://elerlich.com/momentito/2008/08/si_vas_a_fingir_mentime.php#more
La gente que finge la risa es peor que la que finge el orgasmo. O mejor: es la misma. Es que no pueden parar. Fingir es más adictivo que el desayuno en la cama, exige menos cuidado y no requiere el coraje que se precisa para mentir.
Mentir es robarse un libro. Fingir es pedirlo prestado cuando sabés que no lo vas a devolver. El que miente le pone huevos a la cosa, igual que el que entra a robar un banco. No se puede compararlo con el que finge que pagó la factura a la hora en que le vienen a cortar la luz.
Se miente en grande y se finge en chiquito, casi bordeando la poquedad. El que finge no quiere mirarse al espejo y verse como un mentiroso. Pero no le molestaría que lo vean como un chorro sentimental. Y nada más lejos que eso. El que finge es un plomero que te mira a la cara para saber “cuánto te puedo cobrar por esta macanita”.
El que finge pretende que no miente; hace como que le da culpa. Pero tampoco. Le faltan pantalones largos pero no le sobra imaginación: el que miente llega al trabajo tarde porque lo agarró un triple choque; al que finge el nene se le enfermó.
¿Por qué alguien prefiere fingir un vuelto de la panadería cuando puede pasar a la historia mintiendo un millón de dólares? No tanto por cobardía como por desinterés.
Es más fácil fingir un pancho que mentir una pavita adobada, se tramita más rápido y se mastica igual. Pero te lima el alma, te la deteriora. Te la deja a medio afeitar.
El mentiroso es un coso que sabe que arriesga, que está viajando con una valija non sancta y que si lo paran en la aduana se va a cansar de perder.
En cambio el que finge es más desapegado que un post-it. No le calienta que te des cuenta porque tampoco se va a tomar el tiempo para corregir. Por eso va a lo mínimo, cosa de errarle por poco. Nada de “estábamos cerrando el balance y nos cayó una inspección de impositiva con canas y todo. Nos quitaron los celulares y por eso no te pude avisar”. No. Un fingidor se conforma con un “qué querés, el jefe me retuvo”.
Y ante una cosa de esas no dan ganas ni de preguntarle ni de mirarlo fijo. Uno sabe que el otro sabe y los dos la dejan pasar: en eso, al fin y al cabo, radica la miseria de fingir.
Nadie quiere que lo encaren con la verdad, eso es sabido por todos. Pero una cosa es decolar desde una mentira como la gente, una historia que valga la pena y nos haga aunque sea soñar con la grandeza, y otra muy otra la conformidad que nos lleva a fingir.
Fingir es decirle a la vida “hasta acá hemos llegado”, “por favor no me pidas más”. Por eso fingir es masivo y lo entendemos rápido. Es como sacar un delantero y poner un marcador.
Una sólida mentira bien puesta se gana su lugar en la mesa. Te toca el culo, te levanta de la silla y en el peor de los casos convoca la furia, nos viste de inmediato con ganas de matar.
En cambio cuando nos fingen en la cara, así cortito y con poco argumento, recuperamos la tranquilidad de lo viejo y conocido: la vida nos reafirma que no merecemos más; ni siquiera que nos mientan con un poco de onda. No lo pedimos a gritos pero lo aceptamos con gracia. Nos fingen lo que sea y nos sentimos acunados por el dulce canto de la resignación.
Es hora de cortarla y decir que no. Si vas fingir, mentime. No me finjas el orgasmo: tené los ovarios de mentirme el amor. Inmolate a lo bonzo en una mentira que valga la pena, ¡corré el riesgo de que te salga mal!
Basta de achicar el mundo, señores, fingiendo cosas que no valen la pena. Los mentirosos con ganas tienen al final del túnel una chance aunque sea por la osadía. A los que fingen, por mediocres, les están cerradas para siempre las puertas de la verdad.
reloaded
March has begun and eventhough I'm busy, I think it's a wonderful month: kids attend school after their summer break, Autumn is around the corner, everybody is back from hollidays (no more excuses to be heard on the matter), I'm planning a getaway...
But, what still surprises me of this month is that I keep a record of some sort of weird comments in the street when I take my dog for a walk: I was congratulated by an old woman on my collecting my dog's number two. Then, a mother told a child that I was doing sth really disgusting (exactly the same action I was congratulated on). Later on, a friend of mine asked me if it was ok for me to do something like that...
It seems March brings some questions or comments... bring them on, I'm prepared...
But, what still surprises me of this month is that I keep a record of some sort of weird comments in the street when I take my dog for a walk: I was congratulated by an old woman on my collecting my dog's number two. Then, a mother told a child that I was doing sth really disgusting (exactly the same action I was congratulated on). Later on, a friend of mine asked me if it was ok for me to do something like that...
It seems March brings some questions or comments... bring them on, I'm prepared...
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