been there, done that?

Watching a Seinfeld's episode:

Elaine: Been a while?
Jerry: I have a vague recollection of doing something with someone, but it was a long, long time ago.
Elaine: I think my last time was in Rochester. My hair was a lot shorter.
Jerry: I remember that it's a good thing. Someday, I hope to do it again. (Jerry looks at Elaine)
Elaine: What?
Jerry: What?
Elaine: What was that look?
Jerry: What look?
Elaine: The look you just gave me.
Jerry: I gave a look?
Elaine: Yes.
Jerry: What kind of look?
Elaine: I know that look.
Jerry: Then what was it?
Elaine: Why should I tell you?
Jerry: Well, you're the big look expert. I wanna see how smart you are.
Elaine: Trust me. I know the look. (Pause) So...
Jerry: What?
Elaine: What about the look?
Jerry: I don't know.
Elaine: You got something on your mind?
Jerry: No. Things pop into your head. You?
Elaine: Things occur to me from time to time.
Jerry: Yeah, me too. Well, you can't expect to just forget the past completely.
Elaine: No, of course not.
Jerry: I mean, it was something we did. Probably about, what? Twenty-five times?
Elaine: Thirty-seven.
Jerry: Yeah, we pretty much know what we're doin' in there. (Points to bedroom)
Elaine: We know the terrain.
Jerry: No big surprises.
Elaine: Nope.
Jerry: What do you think?
Elaine: I don't know. What do you think?
Jerry: Well, it's something to consider.
Elaine: Yeah.
Jerry: I mean, let's say we did.
Elaine: What if.
Jerry: Is that like the end of the world or something?
Elaine: Certainly not.
Jerry: Why shouldn't we be able to do that once in a while if we want to?
Elaine: I know.
Jerry: I mean, really, what is the big deal? We go in there. (Points to the bedroom) We're in there for a while. We come right back out here. It's not complicated.
Elaine: It's almost stupid if we didn't.
Jerry: It's moronic.
Elaine: Absurd!
Jerry: Of course, I guess, maybe, some little problems could arise.
Elaine: We, there are always a few.
Jerry: I mean, if anything happened, and we couldn't be friends the way we are now, that would be really bad.
Elaine: Devastating.
Jerry: Because this is very good. (Points back and forth between them to indicate friendship)
Elaine: And that would be good. (Points to bedroom)
Jerry: That would be good too. The idea is combine the this and the that. But this cannot be disturbed.
Elaine: Yeah, we just wanna take this and add that.
Jerry: But of course, we'd have to figure out a way to avoid the things that cause the little problems. Maybe some rules or something.
Elaine: Huh.
Jerry: For example, now, I call you whenever I'm inclined and vice versa.
Elaine: Right.
Jerry: But if we did that, we might feel a certain obligation to call.
Elaine: Well why should that be? Oh, I have an idea. I have an idea. No call the day after that.
Jerry: Beautiful. Let's make it a rule.
Elaine: All right, sir.
Jerry: Now here's another little rule. When we see each other now, we retire to our separate quarters. But sometimes, when people get involved with that, they feel pressure to sleep over. When that is not really sleep. Sleep is separate from that. And I don't see why sleep got all tied up and connected with that.
Elaine: Okay, okay. Spending the night is optional!
Jerry: Well now we're gettin' somewhere.
Elaine: What about the kiss goodnight?
Jerry: Tough one. You're call.
Elaine: It's brug-wa (?).
Jerry: Fine. Well.
Elaine: Well.
Jerry: You ready?
Elaine: Ready.
Jerry: So think you can handle this?
Elaine: Definitely. (Runs into bookshelf)

In the same episode:

Jerry and George are at the store.
George: What about jewelry? That's very nice gift.
Jerry: No, no. I have to be very careful here. I don't want to send the wrong message. Especially after the other night.
George: Maybe I'll get her some jewelry.
Jerry: No, no. You can't get her anything better than me. Whatever I spend, you have to spend half.
George: What am I supposed to get, a bazooka?
Jerry: You don't understand. I'm in a very delicate position. Whatever I give her, she's going to be bringing in experts from all over the country to interpret the meaning behind it.
George: What does she need? Maybe there's something that she needs.
Jerry: I think I heard her say something about a bench.
George: A bench? What kind of a bench?
Jerry: I don't know, but she mentioned a bench.
George: What, like at a bus stop?
Jerry: I don't know.
George: Like a park bench?
Jerry: I have no idea.
George: Who puts a bench in their house?
Jerry: Forget the bench.
George: I got it. You wanna get her something nice? How 'bout a music box?
Jerry: No, too relationshippy. She opens it up, she hears that Laura's theme, I'm dead.
George: Okay, what about a nice frame? With a picture of another guy in it. Frame says I care for you, but if you wanna get serious, perhaps you'd be interested in someone like this.
Jerry: Nice looking fellow.
George: What about candle holders?
Jerry: Too romantic.
George: Lingerie?
Jerry: Too sexual.
George: Waffle maker.
Jerry: Too domestic.
George: Bust of Nelson Rockefeller.
Jerry: Too Gubernatorial. (?)
George: Let's work on the card.

Then:
Elaine: (Reading card) Think where man's glory most begins and ends and say my glory was I had such a friend.
Kramer: (To Jerry) Yates.
Elaine: Oh Kramer. (They embrace)
Jerry: Could you excuse us please?
Kramer: What?
Jerry: We're talking.
Kramer: Oh, the relationship. (He leaves)
Jerry: You know, we never had one fight before this deal.
Elaine: I know.
Jerry: Never.
Elaine: Ever.
Jerry: We got along beautifully.
Elaine: Like clams.
Jerry: It was wonderful.
Elaine: A pleasure.
Jerry: So I think we should just forget the whole deal, and go back to being friends.
Elaine: I can't do it.
Jerry: You what?
Elaine: I can't do that.
Jerry: You mean it's... (She nods) No this. No that. No this or that. Oh, boy. What do you want?
Elaine: This, that, and the other.
Jerry: Oh, sure. Of course, you're entitled. Who doesn't want this, that, and the other?
Elaine: You.
Jerry: (Starts to correct then realizes) Well...


Finally:
Elaine: All right, you can take the newspaper. But I want it back.

Kramer: Oh yeah. So, ah, what're you guys gonna do today?
Elaine: Ah, this. And that.
Jerry: And the other.
Kramer: Boy, I really liked the two of you much better when you weren't a couple. (He exits)

End.
(hey, this is fictional, please)...

comentarios

llevar a mi perra a pasear es toda una odisea, no solo porque su artrosis no le permite caminar bien, sino porque a cada paso las señoras de cierta edad me paran para hacerme algunos comentarios:

— ¡Te felicito que juntás lo que hace tu perra!

mi respuesta: mirada lacónica y sonrisa forzada (preferiría que en vez de felicitarme, siguieran caminando: no hago más que mi deber por tener una mascota).

— ¡Ojalá todos levantaran todo como vos!

respuesta similar...

pero siempre, siempre hay alguien que te hace cambiar de actitud: hoy una treintañera desde la ventanilla de su auto -el que detuvo solo para hacerme su comentario mientras se hacía una fila- me dijo:

— ¿No te da asco qu tu "perro" haga en el medio de la calle?-

(no era el medio de la calle, sino un costado del cordón)

y como decidí ignorar semejante comentario, siguió:

— ¡¿Escuchaste lo que te dije?!

esta vez, increíblemente, respondí:

— ¿Y vos viste las bolsitas que tengo para juntar lo que hace mi perra?

(entre nos, ¿será que podremos dejar de mirar lo que hace el otro para concentrarnos en lo que hacemos cada uno de nosotros como individuos? Parar el auto en una bocacalle para buscarle el "pero" al otro es algo totalmente inconcebible -sobre todo, si el otro es alguien responsable como yo-).

Vos, el de arriba, dame paciencia, mucha paciencia esta semana. Porque si la vuelvo a ver...

of all things

Though I can't explain myself clearly, I can say everything's changing.

may be a poem can give you an idea:

Macavity's a Mystery Cat: he's called the Hidden Paw--
For he's the master criminal who can defy the Law.
He's the bafflement of Scotland Yard, the Flying Squad's despair:
For when they reach the scene of crime--Macavity's not there!

Macavity, Macavity, there's no on like Macavity,
He's broken every human law, he breaks the law of gravity.
His powers of levitation would make a fakir stare,
And when you reach the scene of crime--Macavity's not there!
You may seek him in the basement, you may look up in the air--
But I tell you once and once again, Macavity's not there!

Macavity's a ginger cat, he's very tall and thin;
You would know him if you saw him, for his eyes are sunken in.
His brow is deeply lined with thought, his head is highly doomed;
His coat is dusty from neglect, his whiskers are uncombed.
He sways his head from side to side, with movements like a snake;
And when you think he's half asleep, he's always wide awake.

Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity,
For he's a fiend in feline shape, a monster of depravity.
You may meet him in a by-street, you may see him in the square--
But when a crime's discovered, then Macavity's not there!

He's outwardly respectable. (They say he cheats at cards.)
And his footprints are not found in any file of Scotland Yard's.
And when the larder's looted, or the jewel-case is rifled,
Or when the milk is missing, or another Peke's been stifled,
Or the greenhouse glass is broken, and the trellis past repair--
Ay, there's the wonder of the thing! Macavity's not there!

And when the Foreign Office finds a Treaty's gone astray,
Or the Admiralty lose some plans and drawings by the way,
There may be a scap of paper in the hall or on the stair--
But it's useless of investigate--Macavity's not there!
And when the loss has been disclosed, the Secret Service say:
"It must have been Macavity!"--but he's a mile away.
You'll be sure to find him resting, or a-licking of his thumbs,
Or engaged in doing complicated long division sums.

Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macacity,
There never was a Cat of such deceitfulness and suavity.
He always has an alibit, or one or two to spare:
And whatever time the deed took place--MACAVITY WASN'T THERE!
And they say that all the Cats whose wicked deeds are widely known
(I might mention Mungojerrie, I might mention Griddlebone)
Are nothing more than agents for the Cat who all the time
Just controls their operations: the Napoleon of Crime!
The Mystery Cat, poem by T S Eliot